I'd like to know what's so attractive about my rear end? It's curvy and lies at the back of me, minding it's own business. It's not special, except that it's all mine ... And I don't want it whacked!
So why do so many other cars want to squeeze up behind me so you could hardly fit a size zero model between us?
If I suddenly stop, the chance of these tailgaters stopping is hardly better than a blind hedgehog surviving a vacation trip across a busy intercity road?
And there are so many of them.
Yesterday, I'm driving through the beautiful West Somerset, UK, countryside minding my own business. The road is wet from overnight rain and lots of skiddy oak leaves have fallen, not to mention the odd tree branch.
At intervals, there are patches of mud from local farm tractors using the highway to travel between their hard working green fields.
A bean brain could see conditions were slippery. A half witted dodo who'd failed first year at high school could see that the road was more like a skating rink than a race track.
Whoops, there he is, a 4x4 with bull bars and he's latched onto my tail.
It's a beautiful sunny day but he's got his headlights full on.
There's a line of traffic ahead as far as I can see, which on this narrow, twisty road isn't far. So, if he passes me, he will only go for a few feet before being slowed down again.
He's so close I can almost lip read the obscenities he's hurling at me for daring to get in his way.
Hey, I'm naturally nervous. I'm the one everybody loves to bully. I love life. I don't want to die!
He edges nearer to me. Perhaps he's lassoed my bumper and has his engine switched off.
I can almost feel his breath on the back of my neck. My eyes are glued to my mirror and every move he makes. Briefly, I flick my eyes forward again. Just in time, I brake gently because the car ahead has slowed down. I daren't brake sharply because Mr Bull Brain is right behind. My normal distance to a moving vehicle ahead is about three street lengths so slowing down is not a problem, even with the distraction of All Engine and Chrome.
Incensed that I dared to hit the brakes, even gently, Mr Bull Bar Buffoon, blares his horn to show his contempt. Presumably, the chances of him ever using his brakes on a country road are about the same as me not dying pretty soon unless I get out of his way.
I give up and pull over into a lay by. Idiots are better ahead of me than behind.
Riding his horn again, he immediately shoots forward and latches onto the next car ahead.
So maybe my rear end wasn't so specially beautiful, after all. I briefly feel mildly disappointed, then, after the stream of traffic has gone by, carefully, pull out into the road.
The green fields stretch all around and in the distance lies Exmoor with it's wonderful walks, deer, foxes and other dangerous wild life.
And, talking of danger, there's another car attached to my tail. It's a small blue convertible driven by a rather good looking blond woman.
Ooh, but she's better than the last driver.
Hello dear! Maybe we can exchange telephone numbers after we've exchanged insurance details when you dent my bumper!
Your car isn't so big as the last guy's so I'd probably live. You might not look so pretty though after they've scraped your face off the windscreen.
Nevertheless, I'd rather get close up and friendly with this damsel than the mouthy bull bar guy.
But, oh help! She's applying her make-up as she's bumper hugging me.
Fear washes over me again, even faster than the make-up she's applying.
There's only one solution. I pull over to a lay by again to let her pass. Immediately she roars forward and latches onto the next car up the line. I think I can now see her eating some yogurt.
Trembling gently, I dimly recollect that the West Somerset Railway has now been connected between Minehead and my local town of Taunton.
Perhaps I'd be better off taking the train!
Bye for now
Rob
(Rob Hopcott - news - fiction)
Tag Archive for 'Exmoor'
Rachel and Kenny McDonald of the Bridge Inn, Dulverton, Exmoor liked the pub musicians so much, during the Dulverton Folk Music Festival that they are inviting local folk musicians to set up a regular weekly music session.
Having experienced the warm and welcoming atmosphere they have created in their traditional Dulverton pub since December 2006, I don’t think they will have to wait long.
Read more about Dulverton Folk festival 2007
The community of West Somerset, UK has propelled 16 new Independent Councillors into power, overthrowing a longstanding Tory majority.
It is now vital that they continue to make full use of the energy and e-democratic collective intelligence of the West Somerset community to overcome the policy challenges that have bedevilled West Somerset and Exmoor for too long.
more
It is now vital that they continue to make full use of the energy and e-democratic collective intelligence of the West Somerset community to overcome the policy challenges that have bedevilled West Somerset and Exmoor for too long.
more
The flowers I love most on Exmoor in Spring are the primrose and the snowdrop.
Primroses and snowdrops are easy to spot as I travel through the narrow lanes of West Somerset and North Devon because they tend to clump together.
Primroses are a wonderful yellow colour with bright green leaves and are to be found growing in the high hedges which are a feature of the countryside around here. Snowdrops too love the hedgerows and have white bright bell shaped flowers that threaten to tinkle in the sun.
Snowdrops are so widespread moreIt was lunchtime and I was feeling frustrated having spent all morning sitting in my driveway uploaded the articles I'd written the previous Friday from my camper van via my wireless link into the Internet connection in my home.
This was not the way it was supposed to be. Uploading was only supposed to take half an hour and then I would be free to wend my way into the countryside and find somewhere nice to sit and write my next batch of articles. I must find some ways to speed the process up or, perhaps, do the uploading at the end of the day.
However, I reflected that lunch times are for getting out, taking a walk and relieving the frustrations and tensions created by the morning's hard work. So I pulled out of my drive and headed for Dunkery Beacon with my sandwiches and flask of coffee to where I knew I could find some very pleasant wood carvings amongst the trees at Webber's Post.
I came across a press release by West Somerset District Council that left me completely incensed. You can find it at egovmonitor.com
The press release sought support for Downing Street online petitions against proposals for a new Somerset Local Government Unitary Authority.
There was a feedback box for comments and, dutifully, I spent something over an hour filling it in.
Unfortunately, when I pressed the send button, there was no evidence that my comments had been accepted and they certainly didn't appear below the article where they should have been.
Perhaps my comments have been placed in moderation. If so, the eGov Monitor site should have told me so both before and after I took the time to comment. Leaving me in limbo not knowing is frankly, in my opinion, rude.
So I don't feel my time has been completely wasted, I detail by comments below. Basically, I believe substantial regeneration will never be achieved under the existing Authority and any other Authority would have to be better. Also I resent paying for a campaign I don't support through the rates.
Rob
The press release sought support for Downing Street online petitions against proposals for a new Somerset Local Government Unitary Authority.
There was a feedback box for comments and, dutifully, I spent something over an hour filling it in.
Unfortunately, when I pressed the send button, there was no evidence that my comments had been accepted and they certainly didn't appear below the article where they should have been.
Perhaps my comments have been placed in moderation. If so, the eGov Monitor site should have told me so both before and after I took the time to comment. Leaving me in limbo not knowing is frankly, in my opinion, rude.
So I don't feel my time has been completely wasted, I detail by comments below. Basically, I believe substantial regeneration will never be achieved under the existing Authority and any other Authority would have to be better. Also I resent paying for a campaign I don't support through the rates.
Who is paying for this campaign? Who asked the rate payers?
The good citizens of West Somerset may well ask who is paying for this campaign and whether they have been consulted about spending this money on trying to save District Councillors jobs and expense accounts.
Those who packed the main streets of Minehead in fruitless efforts to modify West Somerset Council unpopular policies may hope a unitary authority might provide a new style Council service that is more open to democratic debate.
Those who have watched aghast at the West Somerset District Council's policies of selling off car parks, needed for town centre visitors, and building brand new multi million pound Council offices for local Government bureacrats, may well consider a unitary authority could not possibly do worse.
Those who consider the policy partnership between the Somerset County Council and the citizens of West Somerset relating to the area around Minehead Railway station to have been hugely more successful than anything West Somerset District Council has achieved may well feel the public has nothing to fear from a unitary Somerset authority.
West Somerset needs to move forward to grasp the many opportunities that are available in the 21st century.
Hopefully, the new unitary authority structure will provide the people of West Somerset with a new open government culture that will enable the people of West Somerset to move forward united and with a new confidence so previously lacking.
Rob
The West Somerset Business Network Fair, which took place recently at the Queen's Hall, Minehead, West Somerset, UK, was a resounding success.
The emphasis on local businesses showing their products and services was a great improvement compared with previous years where government support services and government organizations took pride of place.
Hopefully, in future years, the West Somerset Business Fair will grow and go from strength to strength and significantly help with local regeneration.
I always very much enjoy playing music for the elderly at rest homes or nursing homes so when I got the invitation from a folk musician friend, whose mother had just moved into the Dunster Lodge Residential Home, West Somerset, to welcome in the new year with some folk music, I leaped at the opportunity.
We had a wonderful afternoon playing jigs, reels, polkas, sea shanties and more. Read all about it at Dunster Lodge Residential Home in Minehead, Somerset, UK
Following a West Somerset Free Press article 25th August 2006 asking for ideas to make Exmoor a better place to live and work, I have sent the following article to the Exmoor National Park Authority via the New Economics Foundation (neweconomics.org).
Enjoyed this?
Post this article to . . . Reddit Digg del.icio.us
Related Links:
Exmoor, Exmoor National Park, Exmoor National Park Authority
Art, Artist, Artists, artists market, artist market, art market, open air art market, open air market
regeneration, Exmoor regeneration, Exmoor National Park regeneration
Sunday Art Market
.
.
Hi
Thank you for the good work you are doing to try to help Exmoor area. I hope that your article in the Free Press brings in some good suggestions.
Living in Minehead, I have long been passionate about helping Exmoor to be a better place to live and work and really welcome the opportunity to make my small contribution.
Exmoor Sunday Open Air Art Market
A permanent Sunday open air art market in Exmoor would promote community building, help tourism and bring income in for local artists.
The model for this suggestion is the Sunday art market that has taken place at Bayswater Road, London for decades. For further information see Bayswater Road Sunday Art Market
I have been suggesting this locally for almost 10 years without making any progress. However, I have noticed that art markets have been tried on a one-off basis but they have always been in hidden away in halls and appeared badly attended. Marketing a one-off is much more difficult than setting something up on a regular basis.
It is important that the open air art market for Exmoor is in a prominent place where there is existing footfall, has a community focus and which is capable of taking much more footfall as the venue becomes regionally popular.
To make the project win-win, I suggest that the 'railings' be offered to artists free of any charge.
Artists would win because their work would no longer be hidden away and would have a better chance of being purchased.
Tourism would win because there would be an additional feature for tourists to come and see.
Exmoor community would win because the free art market would act as a focal point for locals to meet and chat.
The Exmoor National Park Authority would win because the costs would be minimal to set up so no time wasting grants would be needed and local culture and regeneration would be facilitated.
This project also complies with the general purpose model I have already outlined to you for achieving regeneration through substantially improving systems of communication throughout Exmoor. ( see Regeneration through Improved Communication ) A Sunday open air art market would promote communication between artists which would be beneficial and would promote communication in the general community because it would regularly bring the local public together.
Regards
Enjoyed this?
Post this article to . . . Reddit Digg del.icio.us
Related Links:
Exmoor, Exmoor National Park, Exmoor National Park Authority
Art, Artist, Artists, artists market, artist market, art market, open air art market, open air market
regeneration, Exmoor regeneration, Exmoor National Park regeneration
Sunday Art Market
.
.