Purchase Diflucan Without Rx, This morning, as I had my shower, I found myself humming "Christ the Lord is born today".
"Oh my God", I thought. "I'm humming a hymn".
"Oh my God, I don't believe in God or religion, why am I saying 'Oh my God'"?
Before I could say "bust my braces!" or something equally strong and manly, I was off with the humming again.
"Fight the good fight with all thy might."
" Aaargh. I can't stop all this religion!"
"Where is it all coming from. It's in my head and I can't get it out. Has somebody crept into my mind overnight and planted these religious words to program me to hum them. Is my mind being controlled by an evil being?"
"Calm yourself, Hoppy," I thought, Purchase Diflucan Without Rx. 250mg Purchase Diflucan Without Rx, "It's just another ordinary day. Nothing special. The Sun will rise, even if it is behind the clouds, and then will go down at the end of the day. The world won't end and there might even be people at the tennis club to beat you at mixed doubles again on club night this evening."
So I had my shower, got dressed, went downstairs and fried myself an egg to put on some toast.
By the way, I've never understood why manufacturers can claim frying pans to be nonstick, 500mg Purchase Diflucan Without Rx. Purchase Diflucan Without Rx, They always stick for me, especially eggs. I crack open the egg and put the contents of the egg, and usually quite a lot of the shell, into the frying pan then cook it under a low heat and it always sticks to the bottom of the pan. What more can I do. I've used a low heat. Perhaps a stiff letter to the manufacturer would not go amiss!
So I scraped the egg off the bottom of the pan, popped it onto the blackened toast (another letter) and munched my way through my breakfast, Purchase Diflucan Without Rx australia, contemplating how my mind had got programmed.
Of course, it's all to do with my education. At school, day after day, we had Morning Assembly and had to stand in neat lines to sing these hymns that keep going around in my head - "Stand up, stand up for Jesus!" Oh .., Purchase Diflucan Without Rx. dear, not again!
So I have been brainwashed. I don't believe in God. In fact, I'm an atheist and a humanist. I believe in the world getting on better together through cooperation which is humanism not religion. Purchase Diflucan Without Rx, I believe in one for all and all for one. I believe in truth and seeing things as they really are, 750mg Purchase Diflucan Without Rx. I believe in evidence. I believe in careful forensic argument using known facts to draw a conclusion.
I even believe in avoiding cracking God jokes or other one liner religious jokes like 'Beer is proof God loves us and wants us to be happy!' It promotes the fiction by making it acceptable.
I believe I am a good person. When Madame Hopcott screams at me, I don't scream back. When Dacky the dachshund nips my ankle, I don't kick him, Purchase Diflucan Without Rx. On the other hand, if I did, the movable contents of our house would probably be thrown at me and my body would be dented in multiple parts by Madame Hopcott. Purchase Diflucan Without Rx paypal, So my policy of non-retaliation is perhaps simple self-preservation rather than any question of being good.
However, by the time I've made my morning coffee, I'm feeling cross and grumpy with the injustice of this God thing.
What right has the Government to program my mind with all this rubbish?
As far as I can remember, nobody has ever offered me any proof that if I pray a particular thing will happen. It's all very airy fairy. I've been told something, day after day, which I don't believe is true and which nobody I know can prove.
Perhaps I should go to some Government Department and demand for them to prove the existence of God. Purchase Diflucan Without Rx, I doubt if they would listen to me. They'd probably think I was a crank, 10mg Purchase Diflucan Without Rx. Me a crank. I'm not the one who's telling people to believe in something I can't prove. All I'm doing is repeating back to them what they've brainwashed me into thinking ... and especially annoyingly humming.
I wonder whether I could sue the Government for misrepresentation?
Or perhaps I could sue God, after all, I never wanted to believe in him in the first place, Purchase Diflucan Without Rx. Oh my God, I can't sue God, God doesn't exist.
Even if God does exist, which is highly doubtful in my mind, Purchase Diflucan Without Rx coupon, where does he live. He would have to have an address for me to send the writ to. If he hasn't an address, then probably he must be a very shady character. The Government requires that almost everything and everybody has to have an address these days, mainly so people can sue the owner of the address for this and that.
It seems that I am stuffed on the issue of this God thing whichever way I turn.
In any case, as Madame Hopcott points out regularly, the earnings from my writing for last year were hardly sufficient to buy a dog biscuit for Dacky so I could only afford about 30 seconds of the lawyer's time which might not be sufficient to take on the Lord of the Universe.
Perhaps I could find a lawyer to go pro bono. Purchase Diflucan Without Rx, 'Where there's blame, there's a claim?' Or maybe the Church would take up my cause and help me sue God for misrepresentation of his existence. Or perhaps it would be a better plan to sue the Church, Purchase Diflucan Without Rx japan, after all, it is them who are making all the claims.
I feel a lot better now. I have identified somebody who I could hold to account for these wretched tunes that keep going around in my head.
"In Dulce Jubilo, Amanda sucked my toe." Aahrgh, I can't blame that one on the Church and, what's more, I can't even remember which of my childhood friends altered the words that we used to sing in Morning Assembly.
On the other hand, 20mg Purchase Diflucan Without Rx, perhaps to go up against the church in any form is a dangerous matter. I've heard of people getting blown up for less. "Fight the good fight with all thy might." And if he won't believe in you, blow him up. These religious people sound even more dangerous than Madame Hopcott.
I switch on the radio and there is a calm voice saying "Let us pray" and the sound of a church organ in the background.
Aaargh, they are getting at me again, Purchase Diflucan Without Rx. I switch the radio off quickly.
Perhaps there is good money to be made out of de-programming people. It sounds like a great business to me. The aim of the business would be to persuade people not to believe in something that doesn't exist. It's a winner. How could the undoubted benefits be disproved?
I wonder if Strogonoff, Purchase Diflucan Without Rx overseas, my publisher, would be willing to give me an advance on a book entitled 'Suing God - how I made millions persuading people not to'?
It's a sure-fire winner ... As long as I don't get blown up first by all the good people.
Bye for now
Rob Hopcott, Online Humor Author
You may also be interested in Kiss Audition a humorous flash fiction by Rob Hopcott.
Or perhaps you could enjoy Rob Hopcott's other flash fiction stories, many humorous.
Suing God is a fictional humorous short story about belief, brainwashing and questions of religion and religious belief which contains at least one joke and some humor and is copyright Rob Hopcott, all rights reserved. All characters and places in this humorous short fiction philosophical short humorous story are fictitious and no reference is intended to any person or organization, living or otherwise.
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