Have you ever noticed how interviewers are always looking to blame someone?
Uterus Problems Due To Clomid, A bit like Madame Hopcott, really.
I was being interviewed for a radio program the other day. The interviewer said he was from a small rural country close to France in central Europe where the people were obsessed with my flash fiction stories.
I'm not sure whether that's a recommendation for his country or not.
Or, perhaps they make better sense in translation!
Come to think of it, though, the interviewer did look a bit weird. He had very long hair and dark glasses. There was a long limousine waiting outside and his chauffeur looked rather well built.
Perhaps he'd really come to kidnap Madame Hopcott and hold her for ransom. Uterus Problems Due To Clomid mexico, Pity she was already out - probably looking for her friend Strogonoff. Never mind, maybe I'll have better luck next time!
Unfortunately, I was suffering from a hangover and feeling jaded, otherwise it might have crossed my mind to ask for a fee, Uterus Problems Due To Clomid. Who know. Miracles have happened, especially since I appear to be a fully paid up A list celebrity in his country.
With Madame Hopcott out of the way, the day had started well. I'd wobbled very carefully down the stairs seeking nourishment and even successfully avoided falling over the chewed up squeaky things left by Dacky, Madame Hopcott's feral dachshund.
Dacky clearly sees objects on the stairs as an acceptable alternative to chewing me to death and a viable plan to eliminate me as competition for Madame Hopcott's affection.
Dacky, obviously disappointed, Uterus Problems Due To Clomid canada, emerged at full speed from under the sofa and consoled himself with a nip to my ankle by way of saying hello.
Boiled egg for breakfast seemed a good idea and I decided to try the new microwave. Unfortunately, it was clearly defective and died in a shower of sparks. It couldn't have been anything I'd done because I'd remembered to wrap the eggs in kitchen foil before putting them in the water!
Uterus Problems Due To Clomid, Perhaps a few articles on microwaving eggs might be a good earner for old Hoppy. I must put it down in the ideas book.
Then the interviewer arrived.
"Meester Hopcott, what are your views on compost?"
I'd made the mistake of claiming some expertise in gardening and had written an article about wiggly worms and the joys of an active composting life.
I resigned myself to bluffing my way through.
"I think worms are a great addition to everybody's garden and having a composter is a good way to encourage them. A composter is good at recycling all the vegetable scraps from the kitchen too and saves money on street collections. Uterus Problems Due To Clomid uk, Just put your potato peelings, carrot ends and other vegetable offcuts in your garden composter and pretty soon you'll have lots of lovely compost and nice wiggly worms wriggling about inside, waiting to be transferred to do good work in your garden."
"And a good way to make this compost is in a compost bin, Meester Hopcott, that rats may get into and savage any baby who was playing inside?"
"Well I don't think that is very likely," I said.
"But it's not impossible, Meester Hopcott, is it not?"
"Well, Uterus Problems Due To Clomid india, I suppose it's possible, but unlikely." I resigned myself, knowing from experience which way the interview was going.
"And, Meester Hopcott, a message on the side of the compost maker might be sufficient to stop parents letting their babies play inside the composter and be at danger from rats."
"Well, I suppose so, 1000mg Uterus Problems Due To Clomid, but I must stress, it is very unlikely that any parent would let their baby play in the composter."
"But, Meester Hopcott, it is a free world and why shouldn't the babies play in composters, with the nice wiggly worms?"
"Well, I suppose playing with worms is all right for a baby, maybe under supervision by an adult."
"So, Meester Hopcott, Uterus Problems Due To Clomid ebay, you think that on the side of the composter, there should be a message saying all babies playing in the composter should be accompanied by an adult?"
"Well, I suppose, if they're going to play in the composter, an adult should be watching and looking after them."
"So, Meester Hopcott, 150mg Uterus Problems Due To Clomid, you think there should be a law to protect these children playing in composters, also maybe there should be a big sign in the garden near the composter saying 'BABIES BEWARE!'."
"Well, I don't know if there should be a law but, obviously, any parent should be looking after their children."
"Are you aware, Meester Hopcott, that in my country, composters are being sold to make wiggly worms and they do not have any notice on the side about not letting babies play unsupervised or signs nearby saying 'BABIES BEWARE', Uterus Problems Due To Clomid usa. Do you not think this is a scandalous outrage?"
"Well, I'm not really sure ... Where did you say you came from, again?"
"And are you aware that the President of our Republic has no plans for such a law?"
"Er, no."
"And do you think that our President should resign as a consequence of allowing such wholesale danger to the sweet little babies of our great and glorious Republic."
"Um .., Uterus Problems Due To Clomid. It might mean he's slightly non compost mentis." It was my best compost joke and it was ignored.
"I will write that down as a yes, Meester Hopcott. Thank you."
And then he was gone before I could say anything sensible like "Any chance of an interview fee?"
All I can hope is that the probably hard-working, elected and possibly long suffering President withstands the media blitz that an interview with his nations apparently most popular flash fiction author may have started.
It crossed my mind to question why he bothered to interview me at all. 40mg Uterus Problems Due To Clomid, Since it was clear he knew what he wanted which was to find fault and blame the President. He could have interviewed himself and saved the journey from wherever he came from.
Who knows. If the people of wherever, really like my stories and have a revolution, perhaps they will vote me in as the new President!
I can just see me walking proudly along the red carpet in the Palace. Madame Hopcott would be on my arm, giving the crowds the evil eye, with Dacky the Dachshund nipping at my Presidential heels.
One thing is for sure, 100mg Uterus Problems Due To Clomid, they'd never have another revolution with Madame Hopcott as Queen Bee.
They'd all be too scared!
The End
Your compost jokes, gardening jokes or other comments are very welcome below :-)
Bye for now
Rob Hopcott, Online Humor Author
You may also be interested in Kiss Audition a humorous flash fiction by Rob Hopcott.
Or perhaps you could enjoy Rob Hopcott's other flash fiction stories, many humorous.
Composting the Media Interview is a fictional humorous short story about composting, compost and media interviews which contains at least one joke and some humor and is copyright Rob Hopcott, all rights reserved. All characters and places in this humorous short fiction media compost short story are fictitious and no reference is intended to any person or organization, living or otherwise.
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